Not For All The Tea In China

A blog describing the idiosyncracies of working and teaching in China and life on a day to day basis. With stories of unbelievable stupidity and outright ripping off of foreigners.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

'Move Ya Ass'

Chinese universities are a bit of an enigma, they are not the same as western universities were everyone gets to get drunk and get laid and occasionally show up for class. Chinese students even when they are 23 are treated like children. A register is still taken, and at night the dormitory doors are locked at 10:30, so the students can't go out or come back in.

Another interesting thing is 'morning exercise', all students must do morning exercise which is predominantly running around a track or playing football at six thirty in the morning. If a student fails to turn up for morning exercise then money that has already been paid to their class fund for books and other things is deducted as a fine, so the whole class suffers.

Morning exercise of a military fashion is also common in restaurants. Every morning on the way to work I witness a group of cooks, waiters and waitresses having to stand to attention outside their place of work while they are bitched at by whoever is the official 'bitcher' that day, this is followed by a compulsary run around the block in temperatures of about minus twenty, and they occasionally sound off some incoherant crap that the lead runner shouts.

This isn't for every job, but for some strange reason it has taken hold in the restaurant business in China, and their are a LOT of those in China what with food being a cultural glue in this country. I sometimes wonder what the point is, only recently I realised China's secret, the waiters and watresses are in fact a secret crack military force, waiting in the wings for America to attack. When America makes its move this whole special, crack 'restaurant' force will be mobilised to destroy the capitalist scum that dares to threaten China, through the use of Chinese food cannons and other secret weapons, such as, 'The Fried Rice Flailer', 'The Sweet and Sour Sauce torture' and the infamous 'Dog barbecue Barricade'(and yes they do eat dog here, but it's actually a Korean dish)

I for one wouldn't want to test this secret commando unit as I like my food to be 'spit' free, I pity the ignorant capitalist who is foolish enough to test the Chinese culinary force; the things they can do with a wok and a spatular are trully horrifying.


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